drinklust:

once i got very drunk in a bar and my mum had to pick me up so i was trying to act normal by keeping the conversation so i asked her if shes a virgin and she looked at me with pain in her eyes and said “i wish i was”

hannibalboy:

some men like older women, others like blondes, me? well, son. i ever tell u about kevin spacey?

graystripe:

once in the 4th grade this guy got a 2% on his math quiz so everyone called him milk for the rest of the year